|Written by:||Paul Fraser|
|Directed by:||Damien O’Donnell|
|27 April 2003 (UK)|
|DVD Release:||6 December 2004 (UK)|
This heartwarming road drama is about Colin, a mild mannered newsagent. One of life’s losers, he works all day and then plays in his local darts team in the evening and that is all there is to Colin. One night, he discovers that his wife, Sandra, has been unfaithful with the dart team’s captain, Geoff.
When confronted about the affair, they have an argument and she leaves him. The darts team are just about to go to a Regional finals in Blackpool, but Geoff drops Colin from the team, and takes Sandra with him for a weekend away.
Colin’s best friend Zippy advises him that if he does nothing, he would one day look back with regret, so he resolves to travel to Blackpool and tell his wife that he loves her. He stocks up on snacks, and leaves the newsagent in the hands of his regular customers and jumps on his trusty moped and heads off an epic journey.
His first stop-off is at a motor way cafe, where he tries to strike up a conversation with a waitress. Unused to social situations, his clumsy attempts at small talk are ignored by the busy waitress.
In the evening, he heads into a biker pub, and ignoring all the laughs and jeers directed at his mode of transport, he makes his way to the bar. He strikes up a conversation with landlord Ron, and his barmaid, Mandy. He strikes up a conversation with one of the bikers, Ian, who challenges him to a game of darts.
He joins Ian and his girlfriend for a few drinks in the makeshift campsite at the back of the pub, and Ian persuades Colin to allow him to cut his hair. With a new look, he spends the evening entertaining his new friends with stories of his hero, Eric Bristow, and toothbrush juggling. When he awakes the next day, his new friends are gone, so he continues on his journey.
Breaking to stretch his legs, he meets an eco-warrior chained to a tree, and shares a cheese sandwich. Later, he happens on a group of girl guides and spends a few hours in their company. He has a heart to heart with the guide leader, Sonja, explaining how he gave Sandra everything she ever wanted, yet it was still not enough. When it’s time to leave, he discovers the girls have decorated his beloved moped with leaves.
He heads up a highway, pulling in at a fork in the road. He climbs off his bike to check the map, when a horrible noise behind him signals the destruction of his moped under the wheels of a speeding lorry.
Colin probably hits his lowest ebb at this point, but forces the tears back and determines to complete his mission. While walking along the road, he is passed by the landlord Ron, who is taking his barmaid to Blackpool for a dirty weekend.
The fly in Ron’s ointment however, is that Mandy has brought her daughter Ebony along with her, seeing this weekend as more of an opportunity to get away with her kid. On arrival in Blackpool, Ron asks Colin to return the favour of the lift, and take Ebony out of the way for a few hours. He then proceeds to chat up the hotel receptionist so Colin asks Mandy and her daughter if the two of them fancy getting away from Ron for a few hours.
The three of them have great fun at the fair, and stuff themselves with all sorts of junk food. They all have a great time, but come evening, Colin says he needs to go find his friends.
He is walking around the town and sees his wife with her fancy man and instead of confronting them runs in the opposite direction. After spending the night on a sea front bench, Colin heads towards the venue of the darts finals.
When he enters he finds Geoff having an argument with the opposing team, which soon deteriorates into a brawl. He asks Sandra if she would mind stepping out for a chat, and despite Geoff trying to stop her, she agrees. She tearfully confesses her regret and that she no longer wants to be involved with Geoff. She realises that she has been very stupid, and is looking for forgiveness. Colin tells her that he loves her more than anyone else in the whole world, but that he does not want to go back to his old life. He has experienced some of the wider world, and wants to continue on the road to see what is around the next corner. He offers her the newsagents and wishes her goodbye.
Later, Colin is walking past a cafe, when one of its patrons catch his eye. It is his hero Eric Bristow. He nods a hello, and is rewarded with a nod in return. The final scene shows Colin in a bike showroom being shown around by a sales assistant. He then points and then announces ‘thats the bike for me’, and the camera pans to a 50cc moped, much like his old one.
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